Run For Your Lives!
by Humor Queen Merc
Summary: Run for your lives, the Aragami are coming! AAAAAAAA!!! (a funny little spoof on Blue Seed)


Author's notes – Ok, I was going to write the epilogue to my other story when I got struck with a fun idea for a little Blue Seed short. It's all in good fun, so I hope you all get a kick out of it!

Rated – PG

Note – This takes place after Blue Seed 2

**Run For Your Lives!**

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            One random day, three years after Momiji had put Lord Suzano-o to sleep (and one year since the Aragami incident in San Francisco), Azusa Matsudaira was walking down the hall with some interesting test results.

            "Interesting. How is it that Kusenagi has the combined DNA of a plant, a human, and a chicken? This will require many more tests." She said to herself as she half-skipped down the hallway, the prospect of actually having a legitimate reason for being able to test her dream-specimen again. As she neared the door to the main office, she heard someone scream.

            "AAAA!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! THE ARAGAMI ARE ATTACKING!!!" Noticing at once that it was a male voice, one that was most unmistakably her boss, Mr. Kunikida, Matsudaira dropped her reports and went to open the door. Noticing that it was locked from the other end, Matsudaira began to pound on the door.

            "Sir! Sir! Are you alright?!" Matsudaira cried in a panic. Suddenly Koume and Yaegashi turned the corner at the end of the hall, and noticing the sight of their respected biologist pounding the crap out of the door to the main office, ran up next to her.

            "What's going on?" Koume asked as she got out her gun, a standard reflex for any situation that had a hint of danger in it.

            "I don't know…" Matsudaira began to say, when another voice from behind the door pierced the air.

            "AAAAA!!! NO MORE ARAGAMI!!! STOP!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! AAAAA!!!" The easily recognizable voice of their co-worker, Ryoko yelled. 

            "You see?" Matsudaira said as she saw Yaegashi turn pale and grab for his gun as well.

            "Alright! More action! I was getting bored of that stupid lab anyways." Koume said as motioned with her hand for Matsudaira to move away from the door. 

            "Hey now!" Yaegashi said,

            "Only you like doing that boring crap Yoshiki. Besides, I've got bigger fish to fry now!" She said with an evil laugh. Suddenly, more screaming came from behind the door.

            "AAAAAEEEEEEIIIIIIII!!! STOP!!! NO!!! NO MORE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! THE ARAGAMI!!! SOMEBODY!!! HELP!!!"

            "Oh God, Kunikida AND Ryoko are in there? Crap, they must really be in trouble!" Koume said as she began to back up to the opposite end of the hallway, noticeably getting ready to ram down the door.

            "What's got you guys so worked up?" A male voice asked from the right wing of the hallway. 

            "Is everything alright?" Momiji asked as she grasped Kusenagi's arm, looking at the three TAC members with a mixture of fear and utter bewilderment. 

            "EEK!!! NO!!! ACK!!!! AAAA!!! AAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Ryoko's voice yelled from the other end of the door. Everyone then heard what sounded like hysterical crying and a loud crash. Kusenagi's face brightened up, while Momiji's turned white as a sheet, much the same way as Yaegashi's had.

            "Kunikida and Ryoko are both trapped in there with an Aragami. We need to help them!" Yaegashi said in a panic,

            "No sweat. Leave this one to me." Kusenagi said as his signature green blades emerged from his arms. 

            "Be careful, it sounds horrible in there. Poor Mr. Kunikida and Ms. Takeuchi. Don't let them die!" Momiji said fearfully,

            "Yeah, if Kunikida kicks the bucket I won't have a boss to pick on!" Koume said reluctantly, "He's an old fart but you gotta love him. We need him to take the blame for when we screw up."

            "Not to mention I need him as my best man at the wedding. It's kinda hard to find a replacement for that kind of position when the wedding's only a week away." Yaegashi added on a side note.

            "I NEED A ROOF OVER MY HEAD!!!" Momiji screamed, "Save him Kusenagi! I love Izumo, but I'm not ready to leave Tokyo! If Mr. Kunikida dies, who's gonna take care of me? Huh? Huh? WELL?!" Matsudaira just looked at Momiji like she was overreacting. 

            "Everything will be fine, you'll see." She said reassuringly as she walked up to Momiji and put a hand on her shoulder. Suddenly, three more loud crashes were heard from inside the main office, and a combined male cry and an ear-splitting female scream can from inside.

            "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Ryoko was heard yelling as many more crashes were heard and the noises of a struggle made themselves known.

            "It sounds like the Aragami are torturing them!" Yaegashi said as he pulled his gun up to his eye and cocked it back.

            "STOP!!! AAAAA!!! STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP!!! NO MORE!!! AAAAAAA!!! THE ARAGAMI!!! AAAA!!!" Hysterical cries came from the room as a combination of crashes, crying, screaming, yelling, and clawing could be heard.

            "Alright plant boy, on three, you and I crash down the door and take that Aragami bastard down. Ya with me?" Koume said as she lowered her left shoulder, bracing it for impact.

            "Sure." Kusenagi responded as he squared his right shoulder with the door,

            "Alright then, one, two, THREE!!!" Koume yelled as they both ran as fast as the could into the door, ramming it with their shoulders as hard as they could. With a loud moan and the sound of wood splintering, the door gave way and crashed to the floor. Guns drawn, the TAC members ran inside and took aim.

            "MR. KUNIKIDA!!! MS. TAKEUCHI!!! ARE YOU Al…right…?" Momiji said as her panic and worry melted into complete and total confusion.

            "WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" Koume said as she got up from the remains of the poor defenseless door, and rubbing her now-aching shoulder, walked next to her fellow co-workers.

            "Sir…I…" Matsudaira said as she blushed.

            "Oh God, you people, GET A FREAKIN' ROOM!!!" Koume yelled as she too blushed. Getting up from off of the floor (which Ryoko and Kunikida had been occupying), the two blushed immensely and began waving their hands in a gesture that suggested that it wasn't what they all though.

            "It's not what you think!" Kunikida said as he silently wished to be shot dead on the spot.

            "N-n-no! Nothing like that! No!" Ryoko backed as she tried to straighten her skirt.

            "I will be forever scarred by this." Momiji mumbled as she walked out the door, trying to erase the image from her mind. There Mr. Kunikida and Ms. Takeuchi were, laying on the floor, papers and writing utensils everywhere, clothes and hair tussled every which way, their faces flushed and sweaty. It was a sight she would never forget.

            "Dare I even ask for an explanation?" Matsudaira said disappointedly,

            "Well, everyone, *ahem*, you see, what we were doing was, well…"

            "Yes…?" Matsudaira, Kusenagi, Koume, and Yaegashi all inquired,

            "Daitetsu was folding origami birds and throwing them at me. I yelled at him to stop, and he started making a joke that the origami was attacking me. I was getting really annoyed with him always aiming for my head, so I went to stop him." Ryoko said quietly,

            "Well, you see, I had been pretty bored, as I had practically folded myself an entire army of origami, so when she came over I started throwing them all at her. She yelled at me to stop the origami, and I wouldn't, so she started to tickle me."

            "TICKLE YOU?!" Kusenagi exclaimed, his eyes bugging out of his head.

            "Yeah, well, Ryoko knows that I'm extremely ticklish, and whenever she wants me to stop doing something, she tickles me. So at first she tickled me, then I tickled back. Then we got into this whole big tickle war, and that's when you came in." He said with a blush.

            "Wait a second, you mean that all of the stuff about the Aragami was actually about the ORIGAMI?!" Yaegashi asked as she put the safety back on his pistol and stuck it in its holster. 

            "Aragami? Hm, well, yes, I guess the two are similar sounding. I didn't realize that that's what you all heard." Kunikida responded absentmindedly,

            "But, but, but we heard crying." Matsudaira said in bewilderment.

            "Um, actually that was me laughing." Ryoko said as she looked down at her toes. 

            "And all of the crashing?" Matsudaira inquired,

            "Was mainly Daitetsu chasing me around the office." 

            "Alright, that's it, no more, I can't take it!" Koume said, "I think I need to go home and give myself a lobotomy." 

            "Why do you say that Koume?" Matsudaira asked,

            "Because I wanna get this memory out of my head! I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks if I don't!" Koume exclaimed as she turned around and grabbing Yaegashi's hand, stomped out the door.

            "Yeah, well, eheh, we'd better clean up now, shouldn't we?" Daitetsu said, giant sweatdrops forming all over his head.

            "Let's." Ryoko replied as she hurriedly broke contact with Matsudaira's piercing eyes and began to tidy up the room. Sighing at her own boss' immaturity, Matsudaira walked out the door and back down the hall. As she made her way towards her lab, a hand suddenly grabbed her coat and gave it a tug. Turning around, she was surprised to see the person that she had been originally looking for, Kusenagi.

            "Hey Matsudaira, I was kinda wondering…"

            "Yes Kusenagi?"

            "Could you give me a lobotomy too?" Smiling broadly at this, Matsudaira let out a small giggle.

            "On one condition."

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The End 

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Ok everyone, this was total fluff. I just got smacked with the idea while I was working on my homework for my composition 101 class. Amazing how reading a story about a man who kills an entire family (including a baby) could give someone this kind of inspiration. Hm, oh well. Review! Well, if you want to anyways. It's a short story, I know. 


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